How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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