My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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