Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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