It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
this will be a night to untag.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
