Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Having a random hookup so left but love u
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
