i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
