doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
