the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
