Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i drank out of a bidet.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
