508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize