Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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