Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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