Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Randomize
