White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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