i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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