before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
