my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She's the barista slut.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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