There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
