my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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