I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
