he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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