I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize