i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
