I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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