but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
