Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
