Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
