You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
