What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
