I looked at my own cervix.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My dick has a subreddit
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize