He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
No subtext here. People are naked.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
