I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My pussy is not your playground.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
