What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
