So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
