HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
