erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
