so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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