addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
