some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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