butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
