Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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