I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize