it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it hurts more in the daytime
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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