It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
