i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
