Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Randomize
