she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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