between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
