grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
please come you make the beer taste better
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
