my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize