i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize