Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
