Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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