When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
