I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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