ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
