turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
