Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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