my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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