It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize