I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think i got beer on your cat.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
